Hello my friend,
Another week, huh? How’s that working out for you?
Following last weeks’ ideas on self-preservation I have fully acknowledged that I’ve overcooked it this week: getting to Thursday and realising that my social battery is exhausted and my sacred energy space is at risk I have cleared my diary as I write this and am taking respite in the pen; the paper; and the pause that is sorely needed.
Cue coffee and a ridiculous brownie.
As I sit here with said coffee and cake a thought has come back to me. Dare I say it is ‘the thing I planned for this letter’?
I’ve been mooching around on Instagram and my algorithm is showing me all manner of garbage. Honestly; trash. The comments sections are better than the content which is precisely where my thought train is headed. One comment in particular stands out to me each time I see it (because people are clearly copy-pasting their engagement to save time!).
“You’ve build your algorithm brick by brick so you can’t complain when it shows you this stuff!”
Pithy.
As canny a sentiment as it is the idea gets me thinking. We build ‘our algorithm’ brick by brick; the world around us. Our friends and family; our social spaces; our personal reservations; even our businesses. Everything which comes from these things is given to us because we put it there in the first place.
This is - I guess - both a blessing and a curse. We get what we give but that means we have no escape from the world we’ve built. But let’s not be negative about it!
This week alone my ‘algorithm’ has paid dividends.
I’ve been in small networking rooms online where three of my favourite people and I shot the breeze for ten minutes. We joked that ‘you couldn’t get more ADHD in a room if you tried!’ and I think it’s probably true.
The same goes for the day when I need to clear my schedule because I’m all peopled out. I can message the folks I’m due to see and tell them straight up; “I just can’t today. My battery is dead.” And you know what they say? “My guy, it’s absolutely fine. I get it.” or - in the case of my friend Demi - “Oh, thank goodness yes please. My brain is fried, too!”.
It’s taken a long time to build up the kind of human algorithm that allows me to show up and see the people I need to (and also get served with the kind of interactions that fuel my soul). It’s taken conscious stepping back from other things, acknowledging that they just don’t benefit me. That’s kinda hard; to say to yourself ‘so-and-so just isn’t good for me’.
The FOMO becomes real at that point or maybe it's just a fear of being 'the bad person' because you're saying no to something...
Still; you can move forward.
You can curate a new algorithm that’ll bring the right people - the right places - into your world. And, when you most need them, they’ll be there with cat GIFs and 'The Office' memes to make sure you’re on track.
So, yes. How’re you doing with cultivating the kind of universe that’ll serve you what you need?
Catch you later,
- Tom.